Attacking Lazy Liberals is too mind-numbing

Picking thru my Lean Cuisine microwave dinner and my formerly Doritos’s stained fingers clicking through emails, I have been asked “Why don’t you attack Democrats you pathetic fat man?”

Well it got me thinking “wait I’m eating a Lean Cuisine dinner, it’s proportionally nutritionally correct!” But then I thought of the other part of the statement, “Why don’t you attack Liberals?”

Hm, excellent question and even though I have in the past, the correct answer is I don’t have to because they don’t need my help destroying themselves. And the best example is just look at the past week with the Presidential campaigns.

The week of July 9 was not a good Media week for the Willard Romney campaign, as accusations of large off shore bank accounts, Bain Capital employment lies, conspiracy theories of his NAACP Speech and possible VP choice headlined every hour of the 24 hour news cycle.

Liberals had won the week, took the victory lap and then Obama opened his mouth on July 13 to tell businesspeople “You’re business success is not yours alone. You couldn’t have done it without others.”

Dumbass! You had the glory of the Liberal Media longing for Republican blood, Chris Matthews slobbering all over himself and you cut your throat instead.

As I said, the Democrats don’t need me attacking them when, if you give them some time they’ll screw the pooch themselves.

Wait is that like being “Santorumed?”

But Willard and his campaign hierarchy are just as dumb as the Democrats in the fact that they have a hard time spinning negative news.

Ok, so Willard’s Bain Capital legend is in the crosshairs thanks to some SEC filings from 2002. Everyone knows Willard left Bain Capital in some capacity in 1999 to run the Salt Lake City Olympic Games, basically taking a sabbatical from his company, yet his name stayed on the company directory.

The only question that any Liberal Media source should attack would be his $100k yearly compensation during those 3 years. Was he still an employee or just considered an investor?

Oh but that leads into the whole tax return argument, to which Willard has only released 2011’s returns.

Honestly I don’t give a rat’s behind if any Presidential candidate released their tax returns, even if they are sitting in the Oval Office. However, video has shown that Willard has gone after opponents in different political races for not fully releasing their tax returns.

And this is where Willard and his campaign cannot spin the attack.

So arrogant are they about the tax returns that Romney hit the news cycle and stated “We’ll release 2010 tax returns when the accountants are able to get it.”

WTF? I keep my tax return copies in a file at the desk. You’re telling me your accountant doesn’t them readily available on their computer? You don’t have a copy or you’ll write a release letter when you get a free moment?

But Willard’s big dumbass tax return gaffe was when he compared his tax returns to that of Cindy McCain. Willard cried foul that no one asked for Mrs. McCain’s tax returns when husband John ran for President in 2008.

No one cared about Cindy McCain’s finances because the McCain’s file separately!
Liberals could’ve rode Willard hard for another week on all these miscues, watch him grant interviews to everyone that would listen, but Obama had to open his mouth with “If you've got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen” while trying to stir up the middle & lower class supporters.

I give credit to Willard for trying to take advantage of Obama trying to adlib without his trusty teleprompter.

At a rally outside of Pittsburgh, Willard attempted to hit Obama on his “business speech” blunder. Problem being when Willard mentioned the likes of Steve Jobs/ Apple and John Schnatter/Papa John’s building their empires; he forgot that indeed they had help to bring their ideas to life.

There would be no Apple without Steve Wozniak. It was Wozniak that created the Apple I and Apple II, but it was Steve Jobs business sense that sold the push for affordable personal computers.

John Schnatter of Papa John’s Pizza fame had help from his father. Schnatter’s father was part owner of a local bar and sonny-boy raised funds by selling his car to buy out the partner. With daddy’s already established patrons, he was able to sell his pizzas and create his empire.

Liberals are going about Willard’s venture capitalist background the wrong way. They should be using their Hollywood cronies to tell a story. Actually the story has been already told and millions have seen it.

Movie fans will equate Willard with Richard Gere’s character as a billionaire venture capitalist from the movie Pretty Woman. Gere’s venture capitalist character buys into companies and tears them apart for profit, yet in the end Gere’s character folds and wants to see how his money would evolve, not dissolve a company.

People fear the venture capitalist and I’m surprised Jon Stewart and the Daily Show haven’t photo shopped the movie into one of the opening monologues yet.

The thought I don’t attack Liberals is not true as I’ve attack Obama in the past and consistently go after the Lib-talkers on a regular basis. But attacking Lib-talkers is so mind-numbing that I’d rather watch a CMT Channel’s Redneck Island marathon.

In the end, when the opponent is against the ropes, Liberals will always make the mistake and let the opposition catch their breath, regain composure and pray for a tie.

That and they are just too lazy to put forth the effort and expect others to spread the wealth of bullshit for them.


That’s it, Slap the Tap and put some apple cider in the Guinness.

Hey look, Baked Doritos’s… Pay your political tab.