Tuesday Political Quibblers Club: A Skeptics Delight for a Political Price

Somewhere in a basement in “Anywhere, USA” someone is pondering some premise of theory/thought that will make its way thru the bowels of the Interweb and one day become “truth” for a few.

Now whether that notion is political or historical in content will determine its validity amongst the masses of tin foil hats. Plus in today’s techie Social Media “Gotta an app” smothered world, it doesn’t take long for the notion to flow like oil from the Deepwater Horizon.

Take the other day for instance, I was dining out with my family and it must’ve been the weekly "Tuesday Political Quibblers Club” night out for the table next to us as their conversation ran a gambit of various zany political thoughts within minutes of being seated.

Now I don’t like to listen to strangers conversation, I’ll leave that to Agents Jones & Smith of the NSA to do. However this group of grown men that ranged in various age, was spitting out theory after thought in such high revolution that I can only compare them to that of a group of giddy 13 year old girls talking about a member of One Direction (honestly I've heard grown women talk the same as well about One Direction and it’s scary).

Yet one statement has kept with me only because it's intriguing. Now I'm paraphrasing this statement but it goes a little something like:

"What we really should do is split the US. The Northern States go Democratic, the Southern States go Republican and then we'll see who has the better ideology."

I missed what was said next as I was being pulled away by family, but this I know is an awesomely bad idea, yet had to ponder how the US would look if it would flourish.

Yet every theory/thought needs a nickname, so how about “The Quibbler: A theory for a new US Polity.”

Now there are gaps and holes to fill on the "Quibbler theory" as I was unable to finish listening in but I'm absolutely positive I can do some hot patch work better then a "Yinzer" road crew.

OK, so what would a split US look like and how to decide where the split exists between North and South? Well that’s easy if we use the Missouri Compromise.

See the Missouri Compromise helped set up the partition between impending Slave and Free States of any territory wanting to join the Union west of the Mississippi River as well as helped set up how future States would be formed by creating a border that runs along the 36th parallel of latitude. It helped to not have the cluster of States that we know of the East Coast.

So that covers Western States, as for the Eastern half, well we’ll use the Civil War divide.

Contrary to myth, the Mason/Dixon line was not the border between North & South during the Civil War even though it was regarded as such. Maryland never declared itself North or South and even to this day, Marylanders debate if they are considered one or the other.

So for this, Maryland will be considered a Northern state along with West Virginia and Alaska with Hawaii going to the South. So let’s do the math, that’s 28 Democratic states to 22 Republican states.

Seems a little off balanced from the start for the “Quibbler theory" but we’re just beginning.

So all Northern states shall be under Democratic governorship as well their state legislature and the equal for the Southern states under Republican leadership, doesn’t quite have the feel of a Free Republic.

So draw a line across the top border of California, follow that line across to Missouri and then down around Illinois the top of Kentucky, below West Virginia and Maryland all the way to the Atlantic. I know it's wordy to read but without a GPS someone might get lost.

But how does this split affect the business of Federal Government?

James Madison’s Federalist #39 states that "The House of Representatives will derive its powers from the people of America....The Senate, on the other hand, will derive its powers from the States, as political and co-equal societies."

Now under Constitutional Law, each State is guaranteed 2 Senate appointments which means under this theory the Senate shall be democratically led 56-44 as there are more Northern then Southern states.

Well looks like the political power dips further Left which doesn’t seem to be the intention of the “Quibblers theory.”

Under the same law, each State is given 1 guaranteed appointment to the House and other appointments are placed by size of populace. California, Texas and Florida have roughly 116 total Representatives and by “Quibblers theory" the House then would favor the Republicans 245 to 190.

As we see in today's reality, a split Congress is gridlocked and under “Quibblers theory" it strengthens political ideology divide with lopsided numbers that only the moderates of either party, you know those “RINO’s and Blue Dogs” poli-talkers despise, would be the only ones to help push legislation thru to the Oval Office.

It's that or an obscene amount of Executive Orders by whomever sits behind the Resolute Desk.

It's hard to tell how each State would be run with such a political unhinged balance amongst them. By unhinged I reference one political thought running about per State. Yes, I’m positive those reading that are Left/Right will stomp their feet and hold their breath that their party is the one truest. So let’s look at reality, because it appears these “theorists” are not part of.

Currently there are 29 Republican governors at the helm since 2011 and they are scattered across the land. But how are they doing compared to their Democratic equals?

Well Daily Finance released a “Top 5 Best & Worst” run states report not long ago and the results were:

Best 5: 5.Iowa (R), 4.Utah (R), 3.Nebraska (R), 2.Wyoming (R), 1.North Dakota (R)
Worst 5: 5.New Jersey (R), 4.Arizona (R), 3.Illinois (D), 2.Rhode Island (I), 1.California (D)

Doesn't say much for the governorship of New Jersey's Chris Christie and Arizona's Jan Brewer?

California being the worst run state is not a shocker, it's been that way for the past 30 years no matter which party is leading and please don't say "Well when Reagan was governor..." because that was 50 years past.

The average population between the "Top 5 Best" equals roughly 1,833,000, so it's quite easy to govern a small populace in wide open ranges when compared to the size of the “#2 Worst” and smallest state of Rhode Island.

What about the Richest and Poorest of States? Where’s all the wealth sitting or poor squatting? Well thanks to the Wall Street Journal, the list varies deeply from the "Best & Worst" run;

Top 5- 5.Hawaii (D), 4.Connecticut (D), 3.Alaska (R), 2.New Jersey (R), 1.Maryland (D)
Bottom 5- 5.Kentucky (D), 4.Alabama (R), 3.West Virginia (D), 2.Arkansas (D), 1.Mississippi (D)

It’s easy to say that New Jersey & Maryland should be on the list considering they are located near NYC and DC. All that wealth in Connecticut can’t be from WWE’s McMahon family, could it?

I’m sure I can research more “Best & Worst” lists from education, beer halls, roads, drivers and waistlines to dissect and tape together to figure which way to split the States into this or that. However I’m extremely nauseated with this “Quibblers theory" and believe it’s the silliest idea to come along since politicians reading Dr Seuss to explain their discourse.

This “Quibblers theory" of splitting the US between Democratic North & Republican South just doesn’t work even though it sounds great was first spoken and currently the States seem to be running quite well as they are, depending on “how well” one thinks.

That’s it, Slap the tap, pass the chicken wings and pay your political bill before someone figures out a better way to scam it away with another political theory

Cheers!

Presidential Conventions 2016- Drugs, Strippers and Fire Trucks Oh My!

It’s easy to say that right now in 2014, both the Republican National Committee & Democratic National Committee conventions are homeless and many cities mentioned as targets, well many are shrugging their shoulders with very little delight of wanting to host

It’s absolutely mind-numbing reading about which city is on which list and which of those cities does & does not want to be involved in the 2016 convention race. Many of the "hopeful" cities cite “funding” as being the main issue for declining and criteria being second; hotels, transportation, airport, prostitution/strippers, drugs and alcohol must reach a premium to the liking of delegates.


Oh come on, you don’t believe that “P/S, D & A” aren’t a major issue concerning “host” cities?

Sex is big at these conventions or did everyone forget the Rob Lowe 1989 RNC Convention sex tape?

These conventions have become a week long sales pitch for the Party and their agenda because by the time the convention begins, the candidate has already been chosen. Well ok, not chosen just the last one standing with enough money to go from Primary campaign to Presidential campaign.

As RNC head honcho Reince Priebus told Daily Caller's Alexis Pappas, “We have to make sure that we put on a convention that gives our nominee a bump. That to me is the No. 1 purpose of having a convention.” A post convention bump helps navigate the candidates heading into the exciting & electrifying presidential debates.



Honestly, these debates should be produced by the Vinnie Mac and the WWE because who wouldn't wanna see a "Hell in the Cell Presidential Debate?"

However, the past 2 convention cycles, the candidates only received modest bumps. Yes, in 2008 John McCain received a huge post-convention bump, yet that bump was created by the allure of the “Who the hell is that?” Vice President running mate selection of Sarah Palin and after a week the shine dulled.

And strike the notion that the host city helps the candidate win the State as in 2012, the DNC pitched their tents in Charlotte and Obama lost by 97000+ votes and while the RNC held their convention in Tampa a few weeks prior, Romney lost 73000+.

AS I said, these conventions are less about the candidates and more about, well, partying. According to Asawin Suesbsaeng of Mother Jones, Tampa was expecting 50,000 people to attend the RNC Convention with only 35,000 heading to Charlotte, of which 37.5% (close to 31,000)of attendees had press credentials. So how does one keep 54,000 delegates happy? Alcohol, drugs and strippers.

When a national convention comes to town, strippers countrywide travel to the host city to make large amounts of money dressed in their most patriotic G-strings.

Per a Huffpost article from Aug 2012, the Association of Club Executives (representing 4,000 strip clubs) when a national convention comes to town, Republicans outspend Democrats three-to-one, plunking down an average $150 per person compared to $50 for Democrats.

One Tampa strip club scheduled porn star Lisa Ann, best known for her porn portrayal as "Serra Paylin."

And yes, Charlotte's strip scene cleaned up and added venues, however Charlotte's used to big crowds especially when NASCAR thunders into town.

It's rather ironic that in 2008, DNC convention host Denver passed an ordinance that discouraged local authorities from “arresting, detaining or issuing a citation” to any adult caught with up to one ounce of marijuana during the four-day convention.

And skip forward to Charlotte 2012, when the Republican led North Carolina state legislature amended their blue laws to allow alcohol sales on Sunday for the DNC convention. See, compromise can happen.

Within the next month or so, both parties will draft their 2016 convention home, interesting enough, Cleveland and Columbus, Ohio are on both boards. Why not, since Ohio has been the biggest headache for both parties over the past 3 Presidential elections.

Being the "yinzer" that I am, I'm hoping that the DNC takes Pittsburgh off the list, as we do not want a bunch of politicians and delegates hanging around during our most coveted annual convention, the Furries, err I mean "Anthrocon."

Then again, how much would a strippin' "Furry" make during a national convention?


That's it, Slap the Tap on a cold Apocalypse Cow, pay your political tab and leave the buffet open for Chris Christie's acceptance speech.

Cheers!