Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Love Of Unions Or Are You Ready For Some Football

This Sunday, it's expected that about 115 million people will watch the San Francisco 49ers Vs the Baltimore Ravens play in Super Bowl XLVII and the Unions, from all forms of industry, want to thank you for your patronage.

From professional hockey, football, bull-riding and even the officials, Unions are everywhere in sports. Yet even those that despise Unions still tune in to watch or pay the outrageous cost to attend at the taxpayer built arena. I find it hilarious how people will talk about their blood boiling hatred of Unions, yet the exception comes in the form of professional sports and the unionized players & officials.

The best example of this irony happened at the beginning of the 2012 NFL season as the Union officials were locked out by the NFL owners due to contract negotiations. Replacement officials were brought in and the fans became outraged, due to a multitude of mistakes being made by the “scabs.”

First of all, these replacement officials weren’t just some guys off the street, they officiated football games from smaller divisional college brackets to the lingerie league. OK, not your typical acclaimed officiating gigs, but the rulebooks are similar.

So as the NFL owners locked out the Union officials, the replacements hurt the games in play and folks from fandom to Vegas to sports journalism became enraged. Seems rather strange, or maybe because many fans are also involved in gambling on games, run the weekly office poll or take part in the billion dollar fantasy football industry, to throw disgust at non-Union employees trying to a job.

Unlike other pro sports like hockey, basketball and baseball, NFL referees are considered “part-timers” yet earn on average $149K/yearly with benefits, while holding down regular gigs during the Monday-Friday work week.

Outside of Congress, who else can say they have a $149k/yearly part-time job with benefits?

The NFL prides itself in the off field employment endeavors of their Union officiating staff. The most famous amongst the modern official is Ed Hochuli, better known for his massive biceps; well he’s a partner of a civil litigation firm. Others such as Walt Anderson (Dentist), Gene Seratore (NCAA Basketball official), and Bill Leavy (police officer) all hold well paid normal jobs.

Well it only took the NFL owners a few weeks into the season to make a generous contract offer, too which the Union officials signed and were welcomed back with standing ovations by fans and Media at the next game.

So what did they get? Well apart from their new benefit package, the game officials’ compensation will increase from an average of $149K in 2011 to $173K in 2013, and then rise again to $205K by 2019. Not bad for part-timers, eh?

But why when the Union officials held a strike, the fans stood behind them, not the NFL ownership? If this were GM or Ford locking out the UAW, people would stand by the company, with the complaint that their next car could cost more even though no one is holding a gun to their head to buy a GM or Ford product.

Is this the only instance that the CEO/Owner back-lash is possible, our recreational television viewing?

The Super Bowl isn’t just big for the NFL, but for many of their sponsors. The Super Bowl counts for a ¼ of the yearly revenue. And many of those companies have Union employees and once again they thank you.

Guess one never thought about how many Union jobs depend on the Super Bowl being a success. From the Pepsi delivery driver to the grocery store clerk to the food/beverage suppliers at the Mercedes Benz Superdome, one’s passion of football carries over to the very same to which one despises, Unions.

It’s estimated that during Super Bowl Week, New Orleans could see between $300-$450 million pumped into its economy and probably a quarter of it will land in the paychecks of Union employees.

If you able to attend the game, Union labor will be tossing your peanuts, pouring your frosty cold beverage, keeping you safe & secure, flying the plane, cleaning up after the 76K attendees leave the Superdome and those who visited just to relish in the festivities

Just think, while you and others sit around the house, devouring 2500 calories in the first half, many companies spent roughly $4 million/30 second commercial to be viewed, with some only showing one commercial 3xs or just one commercial 1x.

Pepsi-Frito Lay, Coca-Cola, Chrysler, Anheuser-Busch, Volkswagen, Papa John’s and a host of others shelled out $4- $8- $12 million advertising dollars that could’ve been shifted, along with the multi millions in their Political contributions, to other company departments for fuel costs, equipment updates and even the dreaded healthcare costs. That $4 million for 30 seconds is not going to turn into revenue immediately either.

And half those companies have some type of Union employee thanking you for shelling out so much cash to shovel artichoke dip and beverage down your throat. Of course after eating and drinking too much, the Union nurse in the emergency room won’t be happy lifting your overstuffed fat ass into the hospital bed.

Yep, hate Unions except when it comes to recreational activity.

That’s it, “Slap the Tap,” pour me a tall glass of Arrogant Bastard Ale, keep your dirty hands off my 6 pounds of Buffalo Chicken Dip as I lip-sync with Beyonce singing Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever."


Friday, January 18, 2013

The2nd Inaugural Indoctrination of the People by the People (well 51.9% of the People)

Let the silliness begin by the partisan media and the minions that enjoy their escapades. No, it has nothing to do with the Kardashians! It’s the Presidential Inauguration.

Yes folks, it comes every 4 years, it’s the American version of celebrating royalty.

As the countdown to the 57th Presidential Inauguration is under way, today’s “interweb” linked world gives Americans multiple ways of communicating their love and loathe of the First Family. Oh I can just imagine the snarky remarks over Michelle’s dress plastered across Facebook and Twitter or the trail of Kleenex left by Speaker Boehner on his way to his favorite stool at the Dubliner.

Everyone should know by now that since the 20th Amendment was ratified on January 23, 1933, the Inauguration happens on January 20th, which this year happens to fall on a Sunday.

There will be multiple times that Media will talk about how we celebrate the late Martin Luther King, Jr on January 21st, with panning shots of the Lincoln Memorial and significance of the ceremonial coronation of the Big “O’s” 2nd term as the first black President and how he’ll use both the Lincoln and MLK, Jr bibles to be sworn in.

Nauseated yet?

Already there have been postings about “Keeping the Bible in the Inauguration,” as well as people decrying that “If Obama doesn’t use a Bible at his ‘swearing in’ then it’s not a legal Presidency.” If the latter is the case, then, um, well by that notion there would be quite a few Presidencies that were illegal actions.

Per the wonderful folks at, the following “Swearing In” proceedings did not have Bibles present: Washington (2nd), Jefferson (1st & 2nd), Madison (1st & 2nd), Monroe (1st & 2nd), Jackson (1st & 2nd), Van Buren, W.H. Harrison, Tyler, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan, Grant (1st), T Roosevelt (after McKinley death), and L.B. Johnson (after Kennedy death) .

John Quincy Adams used some variant volume of Law book at his only Inauguration.

So what’s the count equal then? Yes that would be 20 illegitimate Presidencies, and some by the very Founding Fathers!

There is no rule that states a Bible needs to be used for the “swearing in” of any President, it just sounds good.

Outside of the whole “Bible qualification” spasms by a small grouping, I actually have an argument for this Inauguration, as I do for all 2nd terms. It’s not needed!

Inauguration Day has grown into an annoyance of monstrous proportions that I’d rather watch a Honey Boo-Boo marathon on TLC. Such a dog and pony show it has become that I think sitting through a 2 hour Ben Stein lectern would have more appeal and zest.

By Noon on Sunday, January 20th, the Big “O” will begin his 2nd term, whether or not Justice Roberts has him take the oath of office. And the Big “O” is not the first to have this happen.

Here’s some history for the naysayers.

The first President-elect to have his Inauguration Day land on a Sunday was James Monroe in 1821. Go figure, Congress didn’t know what to do, since Courts and Public Institutions were closed, they had to confer with the Supreme Court on what to do. So after some debate the Supreme Court said “Move it to Monday.” GENUIS!

In 1849, once again Inauguration Day fell upon a Sunday and Zachary Taylor was told to wait 24 hours to take his oath of office.

President-elects Rutherford B. Hayes, Woodrow Wilson and Dwight Eisenhower all fell victim to the calendar as well and decided to take their oaths of office in private ceremony at the White House and hold a public ceremony the following Monday.

But the best nugget of useless historical Inauguration fact happened under William McKinley.

Back in 1897, the Senate received twice as many Inauguration tickets then the House of Representatives, so naturally the House held a protest of holding their breath and stomping their feet. Apparently the Senate felt that since they confer more with the President then the House, they deserved more tickets.

So what does a split Congress do in such a situation? They form a committee to make sure tickets are properly distributed among Congress and in 1901 the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies was formed.

Yes, even then special committees were formed to break impasse in Congress.

So at Noon on Sunday January 20th, no matter what, the Big “O” will begin his 2nd term no matter when the 'swearing in' begins. I did hear that ESPN’s NFL pre-show will broadcast from outside the Oval Office.

But with great ceremony comes great expense and who pays for it? Believe it or not, the winning party pays the majority of the bill.

Which leads into the latest Obama controversy as to why he is hitting up Corporate America for donations?

In 2009 the Big “O” raised over $53 million in private cash to pay for his Royal, err, I mean Inauguration. That cash was to pay for all the many pageant balls, enormous parade, and even the toilets! Just bring your own toilet paper.

But, yes, we taxpayers have to flip some the bill, because it wouldn’t be a Washington DC function if we didn’t pay something and in 2009 that came at a cool $40+ million.

So what did we pay for?

How about $4.2 million(!) paid to some person with the title of “Architect of the Capital” $4.2 million for the responsibility of making the Capital all pretty and clearing out all the vagrants that reside inside the Capitol as well as the building of the grandstand and bleachers.

Of course one of the most corrupt cities receives around $2 million for the US Capital Police to direct people to the port-a-potties.

And the remaining $35 million went to Secret Services, but they won't talk about it.

It wouldn’t shock me if less people watched the Big “O’s” 2nd Inauguration then tuned in to watch the Royal Wedding in 2011. Hell more people may have watched the final episode of Full House.

In the end, as with many past Inaugurations, we will hear the newly elected President speak of “the greatness of America past and how the future is bright (gotta wear shades)” and “we’ve seen great riches (head over seas), prosperity has strengthen and bound us together like a Rawlings baseball” and the ever present “there’s a shiny house on a hill with a foreclosed sign on it, we need to restore that house.”

All the while, many students will be enjoying the day off school in Remembrance of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by playing HALO 4 or posting complaints on Facebook that there’s nothing on TV.

That’s it, Slap the Tap, as I’ll be spending Inauguration Day drinking a $100 6-pack of Westvleren 12 beer with the Belgian Monks.


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Grandfather who comforted Sandy Hook Elementary kids says 'truthers' are targeting him



Build a Death Star? Imagine the amount of Illegals that want that job

© Lucasfilm / Darth Varder & Stormtroppers
'Star Wars' responds to White House Death Star rejection with sneering letter
Jan. 15, 2013, 3:36 PM EST
By Jordan Zakarin, The Hollywood Reporter
The Hollywood Reporter

The Galactic Empire shot a rhetorical tractor beam at the White House on Tuesday, issuing a statement that mocked President Obama's decision not to pursue the construction of a "Death Star."

The Obama administration said Friday that it would not build the planet-sized superweapon despite a robust petition effort, citing its distaste for the destruction of planets, among other reasons. The "Empire" -- via a playful statement on -- claimed that the decision confirmed its "overwhelming military superiority," and dismissed the White House's claims that the Death Star's construction -- estimated to cost $850 quadrillion -- would increase the deficit.

Bing: New 'Star Wars' comics

"Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility," the Empire wrote in its sneering statement.

The White House also poked at the first Death Star's destruction, which came from a single, well-placed shot from Luke Skywalker's X-Wing fighter.

"Any attacks made upon such a station -- should one ever be built -- would be a useless gesture," Adm. Conan Motti stated.

The full statement is below:

"IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT -- The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. "It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire," said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.

Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production," added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth's exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. "Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture," added Motti."

Copyright 2013 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed

Oh Come On! Who Didn't Know Pres Clinton Watched Late Night "Porn" On Cinemax?