Thursday, October 4, 2012

1st Pres Debate Reaction: Who da’ thunk Big Bird was an Enemy of the State

In the first Presidential debate of 2012, President Obama spent too much time trying not to say “George W Bush” and leading Willard Romney into questions for specific policy information. By leading Willard to proverbial “water” got kicked in the balls and there is no way the Liberal Pundits can spin it to favor the president.

And with that said, it’s time for me to have fun and tell O’Barry what he should’ve responded before I drive to the White House, slap him around and give him debate pointers.

First of all, fire John Kerry as your practice partner. What the hell were the two of you doing in Nevada, wind surfing in the desert?

No wonder you looked drab, tired and unconscious during the debate, John Kerry can suck the life from anything under the sun. Where was the O’Barry enthusiasm we saw at the DNC Convention a few weeks ago?

Secondly, let’s talk the debate, O’Barry you simply sucked.

O’Barry lacked any sort of appeal and cemented the notion that he’s only as good as the teleprompter in front of him. What happened to the “Great Orator?” Instead O’Barry looked like a sweaty pimply faced 4th grader trying to do a book report on a book you never read!

O’Barry’s fight, ambition and futile rebuttals were pathetically trumped by Willard before he finished the sentence.

Willard said he likes part of the Affordable Care Act, the rebuttal should’ve been about how there’s very little difference between the two of them and how it was former Romney advisers that modeled the creation of the Affordable Care Act.

And if Willard likes parts of the Affordable Care Act so much, why change it?

Willard talked about how he did not raise taxes in Massachusetts to pay for “Romneycare.” Immediately O’Barry’s response should’ve been “Correct, you worked with a Democratic legislation but raised many fees and license application costs in the process to offset cost.”

Let’s see in Willard’s first 2 years as Mass Governor, he and the Dem Legislature raised close to $350 million by raising fees on such things as Marriage License ($4 to $50), Mortgage Recording fees ($36 to $158) and even Firearms Registration fees ($25 to $75), plus adding fees to services that were once free.

Willard mentioned “firing Big Bird and ending federal funding of PBS” and the appropriate O’Barry response should’ve been about how Sesame Street, as well as PBS, has helped educate children for decades from all economic levels. Sure, slyly interjecting the “47%” into the conversation by using Sesame Street or note that Federal funding of the Public Broadcasting System costs $1.35 per taxpayer, less than a large McDonald’s latte!

Willard gave us the “5 point plan” idea of 12 million jobs, energy independence, and yadda yadda yadda.

Willard’s example of energy independence of the Keystone XL Pipeline was a fumble that O’Barry failed to pounce on. As I’ve talked many blogs ago, the Keystone XL Pipeline (TransCanada) never promised the amount of jobs the GOP and their pundits keep repeating, nor was there any promise that materials needed were to be crafted and manufactured here either. As a matter of fact, the mountains of pipes laying in Oklahoma right now were imported from Japan and China.

But no, O’Barry, just stood there and doodled in his Blue’s Clues notebook.

On and on Willard went, even introducing how grocery prices have risen under the O’Barry administration and he stood there, lifeless. The door was open to spin this nugget with a zinger and nothing but air escaped his mouth.

Let me answer this one for you O’Barry (as I’ve been doing this entire blog): “Yes, grocery prices have risen for multiple reasons, some out of my control, such as Congress leaving town before even attempting to forum on an Agriculture bill. And then there was the Midwestern drought, I mean seriously, contrary to Rush Limbaugh I can’t control the weather (ZING!).”

Ugh, no wonder I drink when discussing politics.

What O’Barry did do well, give Punditry a treasure trove of missteps and depression pill popping video to dissect and spin.

Yes, the Media spent all day preparing and sparing for the first debate. It was as nauseating as ESPN on Super Bowl Sunday and even more nauseating 24 hours later.

All these Con-talking pundits, like Ann Coulter, that spent weeks whining and crying about having such a despondent candidate in Willard going into the debate are glowingly orgasmic the day after.

Hell even Coulter is talking about Willard as if they regularly have tea and crumpets at the country club.

Meanwhile, Chris Matthews’ tingling feeling in his leg when O’Barry speaks has changed to urinating himself in disbelief during the ultimate meltdown on live TV.

However, the greatest stupidity goes to Current TV chairman Al Gore and his explanation that O’Barry flew in just 2 hours prior to the debate and that the high altitude of Denver caused O’Barry’s vague actions during the debate.

I just want to hold Gore’s head next to the exhaust pipe of a 1978 VW Rabbit diesel because all that clean air he promotes has rotted his brain.

One stupid factoid of the debate comes from MSNBC’s Chuck Todd in that O’Barry had more face time with the American audience as he spoke 500 more words then Willard. Apparently too many meaningless words.

Willard was better prepared and schooled for the debate compared to the sappy O’Barry. Out in Punditry world, some Liberals are using the idea that Willard was a seasoned veteran after going thru months of Primary debates. Or was he?

Let me throw this nugget out for people to chew on.

Since O’Barry likes sports, maybe he purposely failed at Wednesday’s debate to give Willard some over confidence and then at the Open Forum debate in a few weeks becomes “Super Orator” and breaks Willard.

Its ok Liberals, it’s up to Joe Biden to rescue the campaign

That’s it, Slap the tap and pour me a frosty cold Guinness, pass on the Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch Doritos, and pray that Oscar the Grouch moderates the rest of the debates.

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