Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dora the Explorer vs. Glenn Beck- Who's Right?

"Make a hole, make it wide"

Big Poppa needs to take his usual two bar stools seated at the end of the bar, put his fat hand in the peanut bowl, and gulp a frosty cold one. The question of the day is: "Why is Glenn Beck arguing with Dora the Explorer over the 2010 Census?"

The Census is Constitutional! It's a fact. Every ten years, Census is taken to see where America is in population and financial needs. Therefore if less people currently live in a certain area, that Congressional District can be consolidated with another Congressional District. So folks, if you have a Republican Representative and you don't fill out your 10 (simple non-intrusive) questions, you may end up being consolidated with your neighboring Democratic District, or vice verse. Thereby making every portion of $400 billion dollars up for grabs! Sounds like a new game show for Howie Mandel and those models (aw those models). So if you choose wrong and decide not to fill out the 10 (simple non-intrusive) questions and then ignore the Census enumerator (that's the term used) who comes to visit you three times, you can only blame yourself for redistricting and loss of funds for such programs as: Hospitals, Job training, Schools, Senior centers, oh yeah BRIDGES, TUNNELS, PUBLIC WORKS PROJECTS and EMERGENCY SERVICES !!!! And that then means to keep all functioning.... say it together as one voice... Higher local taxes cast upon you for being lazy.

Now with that said, the 2010 Census is budgeted for about $14 billion dollars. I'm not sure how this figure will awaken your brain, but "For every 1 percent increase in mail response, taxpayers will save an estimated $85 million" as stated by Census Bureau Director Robert Groves. Hm mm, Howie call the Banker guy and ask him what would happen if 50% responded. The fuzzy mathed banker comes back with "$4,250,000,000." That's almost 25% of the budget if half of the population responds on the mailer alone. The rest of the budget goes to the Census Takers or Enumerators (I love that term, I think bank tellers are gonna start calling themselves that now, kinda like Custodial Arts= Janitor), advertising and those buried in temporary offices nationwide. Seriously, imagine if 50% of New York City did complete the 2010 Census, the town would turn chaotic. People already pay obscene amount of money to live there, heck a crappy 10x15 studio apartment costs more then my monthly mortgage payment!

There have already been stories of people being harassed by Census workers, but I say "BULL." Census workers are not even out counting yet and they can't count until they receive a list of those who have not mailed the form in. Forms go out in the mail this month, March. Census takers will not be in neighborhoods till April and stop in June. Remember to ask for identification before answering any question(s).

So let's talk advertising. Rousch Fenway's #16 race car, driven by Greg Biffle, received sponsorship from the Census Bureau. Three races from in March for $1.2 million, but with that cost came all the free air time on your local FOX station during those races. So the Census Bureau has a better deal in NASCAR then they did for the $2.5 million they paid for a 30 second commercial during the Super Bowl on Feb 7, 2010. But using Dora the Explorer might make some people flip into racial profiling or issue claims of "indoctrination of our children." I still want to see papers on Boots the Monkey, he looks suspicious.

Is Dora using subliminal messages on our kids into freaking out and crying that mommy and daddy don't love them because they didn't fill out the Census or didn't count them on the Census. Quick dial up Glenn Beck, I think he should've reported on this nugget and not getting Punk'd by former New York Rep. Eric Massa. Although that was a great train wreck of a show.

Instead Mr. "Conspiracy at every turn" Beck made this dozy of a statement concerning the 2010 Census; "The 2010 Census is an attempt to increase Slavery."
What century are we in? Did we rev up the Cocaine fueled De Loren Dr. Beck? Really, you're gonna throw the Slavery Card on the table?

I think Beck is confusing Questions 1, 2, 5, 7, 8, and possibly 10. Here are the 10 (simple non-intrusive) questions you are asked on the Census:

1. How many people were living or staying at the house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010?

2. Were there any additional people staying there on April 1, 2010, that weren't included in answer to Question #1

3. Is this a house, apartment, or mobile home

4. What is the telephone number of residence

5. Please provide information for each person living here.

6. What is person #1 sex

7. What is person #1's age and what is person #1's date of birth

8. Is person #1 of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin

9. What is person #1's race

10. Does person #1 sometimes live or stay somewhere else?

If you may have notice, a few of these questions may duplicate another, why? Simply to make sure you are being honest with your answers.

Beck's view is, that by answering the Census questions we will/have become slaves to the "Washington Master." WHAT?! Seriously, Americans have not become "slaves to the Washington Master" and I believe everyone should feel insulted by this accusation by Beck. History tells us that a "Slave was considered 3/5th of a person," and that was a Male Slave only. Where does Beck come up with his conspiracies? Does he have a conspiracy fortune cookie dish under his desk?

If anyone has become a slave to Washington, it would Beck and the opinionaters of FOX News between the 6pm thru 10pm time slot. Too many people feed the frenzy of the opinionated cast at FOX News. Viewers/Listeners take their words as gospel and if anyone had time to research their words, they can find the opposite as truth. If all the opionated talkers out there have all the answers to clean up Washington, why aren't they in Congress? Seriously, Al Franken walked his talk and now is in Washington, and doing a fine job. It's easy to be a "Monday Morning Quarterback" and spew words into peoples heads while we have all become drones to our cubicles, punching a keyboard. I'll take Dora the Explorer over Glenn Beck on this.

The Census works. The Census helps. Look at San Francisco. They have so many little ethnic communities that they have set up small medical centers in these areas to help people receive better health care. It's easier for an immigrant (legal or not) who speaks broken English to see a doctor fluent in their language to get better care. Makes sense, but then again somehow I am sure Beck would bring the whole "Universal Health care" fight into that nugget of info.

Even the wackiest of all Representatives has seen the light (or maybe her job possibly fading) and has signed on to make sure the Census is completed. That's right, Minnesota's Michelle Bachmann, the very same person who said she would not fill out her Census to prove a point, flip-flopped. I guess someone took Rep. Bachmann back to history class, I hope it was Al Franken or Robert Wruhl, and read her Article 1, Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution.You know that piece of paper that was signed that people like Beck, Hannity, and Bachman wave around, but need Nicholas Cage's character Ben Gates to interpret. Here it states:

"Representation and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers ... . The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct."

Sounds clear to me. So in 1790, Beck even knows this, a Census must be completed every 10 years, as it is LAW. Rep. Bachmann would be breaking the law, could go to jail or be fined, possibly lose her Congressional seat by redistricting. Hm, someone must've paid attention to her last paycheck and her back account.

So, it's simple, if you want that bridge fixed/built or not see your local police force consolidated with the next community or unfortunately not be like Kansas City and have to close 20+ schools due to lack of funds or have the representation that you want, simply answer the 10 (simple non-intrusive) questions and mail it. Mail it, so we as taxpayers can save some of the money that would be used on Census Enumerators.

Wait, since Airlines can consider Big Poppa as two people, due to his rather large frame and two seat usage, do I count myself as 1 person or 2 persons on the Census?

Turn over the Peanut bowl and help pay the tab. Please click the advertising tab or I'll send Glenn Beck in his Cocaine fueled De Loren to your house


  1. The peanuts have gone to your head! I like Glenn Beck and fox news. At least I get a variety of opinions vs the vannilla version that CNN shoves down out throats. Please send Glenn over

  2. kat1216.. CNN is not really reporting when they request viewers to send in their tweets of news for CNN to report on. And what you get from Beck is an opinion that in time is regurgitated by many without much thought of their own. Beck saw the $ from FOX and ran. Take stock in Kleenex while viewing Beck